Heckie, Will You Marry Me?

[Horus Engels]

Yes, sweet Heckie, at last I have screwed up the courage to pop the question. Will you be my own little talking fox? Will you bee my bunch of joyful orc's feet, the stop in my broom? Will you adorn my august presence like an Isis to my Horus? We could spend our honeymoon galloping on two of my sentient writing desks (chryselephantine) across Fredonia, watch it's marvellous views, listen to Osbert Blatherwycke's speeches, peruse the writings of Derrida at the New Library, visit Jon at the Eeelery and drink so much Swedish aquavit that we start to believe that interminable, pedantic posts in aft/rabt are fun.

Your Horrie forever.

[Horina]

I did not want to do this, but your treachery leaves me no choice...

Time for the ULTIMATE CURSE!!! By Hoks, Heks and Huious, let this DOOM befall upon ALL OXFAT!!!

UNTIL Horus the TRAITOR abandons his MELONIOUS HARLOT and returns to ME.....

.....

.....

LET ALL THOSE WHO LIVE IN OXFAT HAVE ALL THEIR SPEECH AND WRITING TURN INTO TYOPESE!!!111LOL!!!AOL!!!CLLO!!!

[AuntHeckie]

Yes, sweet Heckie, at last I have screwed up the courage to pop the question. Will you be my own little talking fox? Will you bee my bunch of joyful orc's feet, the stop in my broom? Will you adorn my august presence like an Isis to my Horus? We could spend our honeymoon galloping on two of my sentient writing desks (chryselephantine) across Fredonia, watch it's marvellous views, listen to Osbert Blatherwycke's speeches, peruse the writings of Derrida at the New Library, visit Jon at the Eeelery and drink so much Swedish aquavit that we start to believe that interminable, pedantic posts in aft/rabt are fun.

My dear Horrie, my mummycutie, my beardwigglie, my little pharaoh with the biiig sceptre!

I would say yes in an instant, were there not naked female students dancing in front of your window right now, and were you not staring and leering at them like Noel at the Tolkien bust or Pseudo at a dropped coin. What do those bony little underdeveloped girls have that I don't, and twenty times bigger?

You clear your relationship with those, or the wedding bells stay silent!

[Pseudonymus]

Sexcellent! Wloud yew like to appeer on a sleazy tawk shoe and dewk it out?

Oh, bother. This is jsut hewmilliating! And to maek thins wrose, my resurchins sgugest teh only crue iz a HAQ! er, FACK! Oh, bha.

[Pseudonymus]

PS. I dew KNOT leer at dproped qoyns! I haev SNADTARDS!

[Horus Engels]

Hxcki, it's jsuat a<nd m,isudnerstang1 i neever elered at thsoe girils in my l0ife, and ti promsie youu they wrill be away sas soona s the asun ahs aeisen voer drgednfnen-

[Rita]

Yes, sweet Heckie, at last I have screwed up the courage to pop the question. Will you be my own little talking fox? Will you bee my bunch of joyful orc's feet, the stop in my broom? Will you adorn my august presence like an Isis to my Horus? We could spend our honeymoon galloping on two of my sentient writing desks (chryselephantine) across Fredonia, watch it's marvellous views, listen to Osbert Blatherwycke's speeches, peruse the writings of Derrida at the New Library, visit Jon at the Eeelery and drink so much Swedish aquavit that we start to believe that interminable, pedantic posts in aft/rabt are fun.

My dear Horrie, my mummycutie, my beardwigglie, my little pharaoh with the biiig sceptre!

I would say yes in an instant, were there not naked female students dancing in front of your window right now, and were you not staring and leering at them like Noel at the Tolkien bust or Pseudo at a dropped coin. What do those bony little underdeveloped girls have that I don't, and twenty times bigger?

You clear your relationship with those, or the wedding bells stay silent!

Hey! I think it's cool to dance naked around a fire! And I don't mind the prof ogling me from his window, because there are others who have noted me too. Many young undergraduates have asked me out after I started doing this. I've written home to my parents about how cool it is to study here. We weren't allowed to run naked on the grass back at Sludgepool Elementary, even though Tolkien recommended it.

[Daraleen McGurk]

Hey! I think it's cool to dance naked around a fire! And I don't mind the prof ogling me from his window, because there are others who have noted me too. Many young undergraduates have asked me out after I started doing this. I've written home to my parents about how cool it is to study here. We weren't allowed to run naked on the grass back at Sludgepool Elementary, even though Tolkien recommended it.

I think itäs coolo eto asance anekd ontehea garss toow rtit eman whyd oy yort ahfievt eh tppopr old fprog Horreizs sucja a shard toem <i veloe <hsi dsrpoprafet ttitoruaials.

[nqvs]

Cna nazone lpease do smethgni abount ttha? I can'z evem praz to Otlkien becasue he hats tyopes. I meab, to Tolkein... Olktien... Tlokien... SOTP IT!

[scopin for chix]

Like, the naked dancing babes totally rule. I've changed my mind about this institution. I used to find it slightly staid, and the accommodations were not at all to my liking. Now, there are naked hot females everywhere. Like, wow!

PS. Rita, would you care for a rendez-vous in the park?

[Rita]

Like, the naked dancing babes totally rule. I've changed my mind about this institution. I used to find it slightly staid, and the accommodations were not at all to my liking. Now, there are naked hot females everywhere. Like, wow!

PS. Rita, would you care for a rendez-vous in the park?

Never! I know who you are, you little creep. You are the weedy littl efellow who keeps rubbing his ears as if you share a secret with them.